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Re: Of Bees and Strings
I actually think this was a rather clever piece comparing two subjects, both involving such emotion. The subject matter didn't really phase me, and I had to read it a ...
Jun 27, 2007 -
Re: Of Pigments And Protons
Sorry I have little useful to say, but I really like this, your imagery is excellent. Nothing strikes me as needing to be changed. I look forward to reading more ...
May 24, 2007 -
Re: Chasing Rainbows Chapter 3
Good description, I can see what's going on really well, however the grammar mistakse throw me off a little, so that's something to work on-the kind of stuff that Magyk ...
May 24, 2007 -
Re: She loved him, though she hated their goodbyes.
I like this, it flowed well and sounded really good. Also liking the topic. And contrary to cymbeline_x, I loved the last two lines ;)
Nov 5, 2006 -
Re: Transform
It's a bit personal - I'm not saying that's really a bad thing, because it'll make it all the better for the person you give it to :) I showed ...
Mar 11, 2006 -
Re: Random Randomness: A lotr parody.
Expand! Expand! More description, another scene, more characters! More, more more!
Mar 4, 2006 -
Re: Lambrini Perry Made Me Smile
I did that so that people might notice that the first stanza is acrostic and the second one isn't, maybe I should make the first letters of the first stanza ...
Jan 30, 2006 -
Re: Valentine's Day (edited)
"Why pick only one day to love? " Loved that line. So true. Loved the whole of the last stanza, in fact. Can't find anything negative to say about it-I ...
Jan 30, 2006 -
Re: Home
Great idea to spell home down the side and then backwards-symbolizes the fact that everything is suddenly opposite. The last line of the first stanza didn't see to flow too ...
Jan 20, 2006 -
Re: On The Runway
A runway is the long bit of concrete planes take off and land on. I don't know what it's about so I didn't want to ruin it by expanding it ...
Dec 21, 2005 -
Re: Teenager Recollections
Your poems never cease to entertain me. Great fun to say aloud, frantic, frenzied words stuck together worked very well.
Dec 20, 2005 -
Re: Lost?
Why does the title have a question mark on the end? I don't think it needs one.. Nope, don't understand why it's there.
Nov 29, 2005 -
Re: Death, Destruction, and Peas
*Laughs out loud* Love it. PEAS!
Nov 28, 2005 -
Re: Fluffy bread tanka
I think the last line is fine-I didn't know bread was fluffy if it's kneaded a lot, but most people probably know more about baking or whatever than I do-I'm ...
Nov 28, 2005 -
Re: Lost?
Simple, and yet really good. Good rhyming and use of oxymoron in the first line. I like.
Nov 26, 2005